A total Mamma's boy

The little guy is such a Mamma's boy sometimes it's not even funny. At gymnastics today he wanted me to be right next to him the whole time and freaked out every time I tried to take a seat on the sideline. Instead of participating, he clung to me. I said to hubby, "I think it would be better if I left." He agreed.

So I toodled on off to do a few errands. I could hear him crying after me but I didn't look back.

When I returned there were only 10 minutes left in the class. Unspotted, I tiptoed into the gym and watched in amazement. Not only was he grinning from ear to ear, he was fully participating and actively listening to his teacher. Hubby told me that the second I left he transformed into a totally different kid. The teacher and all of the other parents were completely blown away by how much he changed when "mom" was out of the room.

Get this. One of the other kids decided that he didn't want any help on the balance beam and crossed it all by himself. The little guy decided that he too didn't need any help and walked across the beam unassisted both forwards and backwards (and the beam is pretty high off the ground!). If I had been in the room he would have cowered and demanded I hold on to him the whole time.

He's the same way when I volunteer at nursery school. He clings to me and follows me around like a puppy dog. But I hear from others about how he normally integrates beautifully with the other kids, and is totally happy go lucky. It would be nice if, for once, I could actually witness this with my own two eyes.

On the one hand, it's nice to be so loved. On the other, it's not healthy for him to be like static cling. Until things change I'm afraid I'm going to have to pull a few more disappearing acts.

A first and a last?

The little guy did his first-ever pee in a urinal tonight. Obviously I wasn't there to watch and this is a second hand account.

The urinal was really tall so in order to pee into it he had to lean into it as far as he could. In the process he triggered the automatic flusher. When he came out of the bathroom his hair was soaking wet. Poor guy! Hopefully this experience doesn't scar him for life.

Winter meal blues

On weeknights our meals have been getting pretty sad of late. Hubby and I are usually so tired by the time we get home that neither of us feel like cooking. So we either throw something easy (and boring) together or we order take-out (which is also getting boring). For some reason everything - including cooking - takes so much more effort in the winter.

Our meals improve drastically on the weekend. Hubby usually works his magic and creates some culinary masterpieces that put our weeknight meals to shame. And, if we're lucky, there are a few leftovers for Monday (the worst cooking night of the week).

Today the little guy and I went to the market and bought all of the fixings for a homemade guiness stew. It's simple to make and nothing hits the spot better on a cold January night. Just as we arrived home, our neighbour stopped by with a homemade lasagna (a thank-you gift for house sitting). Add that to the big pot of leftover curry in the fridge and we're off to a good food week! Finally, a little relief for the winter meal blues.

Quick update

Last night he used the washroom at a restaurant. And, so far today he's refused to wear a diaper or a pull-up...even for his nap. Maybe that means he's going to accept our offer!

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Today the little guy proved to be a "mostly" good listener at gymnastics class, thus earning him a sticker at the end of class. There were a few incidents (including one where he escaped out of the gym sprinted down the hallway). But every time he misbehaved we made him sit on the sidelines until he composed himself and was ready to start listening and cooperating.

He was definitely a lot more relaxed and independent today than he was for the first two classes. Now that he's comfortable with the teacher and the other kids, hubby and I are able to mostly just sit back and observe. And because he wasn't running all over the place like a wild man, he learned some cool new things -- like how to do a handstand against a wall and walk like a crab. On the bar, the teacher got them doing flippy-doos. At each dismount he laughed and yelled, "That was getting really amazing!" These were all good confidence boosters.

Our final offer to the little guy

If you do all of your pees and poops in the toilet we will buy you some toy robots...and you can have a lollipop and some chocolate eggs....and a baby sister (well, maybe not right now)....and we'll take you out for ice-cream....and we'll let you watch Caillou any time you want....and we'll let you fly in a rocket ship....and you can have a hot dog party and invite all of your friends....and you can drive the car...and you can have pancakes for breakfast, lunch and dinner every day for a week....and you can go to Loblaws to visit the lobsters....and you can blow the hairdryer....and we'll take you to the movies....and you can put sprinkles and raisins on everything....and you can coat yourself from head to toe in stickers...and you can play in the sink and we won't get mad if you spill water on the floor....and you can carve a pumpkin and have a Christmas tree even though it's the wrong time of year....and you can choose out whatever underwear you want....and you can play with fire (well maybe not, but you can watch daddy make a fire)...and you can eat breakfast on the airplane...and you can jump on the bed...and you can have a cat even though I'm deathly allergic to fur....and you can wear pajamas to daycare....and you can have a sip of my adult drink...and you won't have to have a hair wash for a long, long time...and we can play the alphabet game...and we can read the same books over and over until mommy and daddy go insane...and you name it, you got it!

What do you say? Is it a deal????

The things we do for our children

Yesterday, the little guy told daddy he wanted to bring his toilet seat to nursery school. No problem. It's compact enough to fit in his knapsack.

But no, he didn't just want to bring his toilet seat. He wanted to bring his footstool too. Daddy (being the nice daddy that he is) indulged the request because it was the first time that he had shown the remotest interest in using the toilet at nursery school.

So...off they went to nursery school toilet seat, footstool and all much to the surprise of the teachers. But when it came to actually using them he chickened out. DOH!!!

In the heat of the moment

Sometimes the most unbelievable things come out of a child's mouth in a a moment of anger. Tonight the little guy had one of those moments. Daddy was trying to get him to change into his pajamas, but he wanted to continue playing in the sink. He was so furious, he yelled "I'm going to push you over and you're going to be all gone!"

Poor daddy! We have no ideas where those words came from...

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Today I took the little guy back to the doctor to have his ear checked. Great news! His eardrum has completely healed with no scarring whatsoever.

Parenting 101

I have to admit that I was taken aback when someone I admire and respect greatly gently suggested that it might be time to look into some parenting classes. My jaw just about hit the floor. I was speechless. The words stung me like a slap across the face.

In the few weeks following, I've been thinking a great deal about what she said. I know she didn't mean it as an insult. As a lifelong child educator her advice was well intentioned. I think she believes that all parents should take parenting classes and should seek out opportunities to improve their parenting skills. But, even so, I couldn't help taking what she said personally and questioning what I was doing wrong.

On the whole I think that I'm a very good parent. I'm definitely not perfect but I "mostly" do all the right things. My biggest flaw (which I openly admit) is that I get frustrated easily by whining and nagging. Whining is like nails on a chalkboard to me and the little guy knows it and uses this to push my buttons. Hubby often tells me to stay more relaxed and positive. When I am able to stay positive it definitely pays off, but sometimes it's really really tough.

I haven't looked into any parenting classes (and I'm not sure if I will). But I did order a few select parenting books, including The No-Cry Discipline Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. I really liked a couple of her other No-Cry books: The No-Cry Sleep Solution and The No Cry Toilet Training Solution. I find her advice very down to earth and practical. Her parenting style also meshes with mine. A lot of what she writes in the book is stuff I already know but sometimes forget. Like the importance of using humour, for example. I often get find myself getting negative which makes the little guy's behavior go into a downward spiral.

I also need to get better about preventing tantrums and whining and analyzing why and when these behaviours occur. The book offers up a lot of good strategies for addressing these and other not-so-nice situations. Many of them I already use, but I've also come away with a whole new pile of tricks to try.

On the whole the little guy is pretty well-behaved but, like all children, he has his moments. I guess a little education on my part couldn't hurt. And when I'm finished, I'll pass the books along to hubby to read (even though when it comes to parenting he's practically perfect in every way). Ultimately, the more educated we are as parents, the more happy and peaceful our life with baby boy will be!

It's a telling sign

I obviously don't clean our house very often because every time I take out the vacuum, you know who asks "Mom, who's coming over?"

One of the main reasons I like to entertain once in awhile is that it forces me to clean. There's nothing like expecting dinner guests to get the adrenaline going!

Why did I ever cancel the cleaning service????

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Last night the little guy stayed up way too late watching movies. Hubby brought a projector home from work so he could turn our living room into a theatre. It was a part of his special "guy" night while I went out for a "girl" night (which I desperately needed!). When I got home at 10:15 the little guy, to my surprise, was still awake watching Winnie the Pooh on the new couch (see last night's blog post and you'll get an idea of how well hubby's night went...). I wasn't overly thrilled to find him awake but I figured it probably wouldn't kill him. After all, it was the weekend. And it was their special "theatre" night.

Even though he slept in this morning, he's been a total lunatic today from lack of sleep. And let me just tell you how much being a total lunatic and gymnastics don't mix. If you read my story about last weekend's class and multiply the insanity by ten, you'll be getting close to how bad things were this morning. So bad, in fact, that his teacher almost didn't give him a sticker at the end of class. From across the room we heard her say something to the effect of, "I'll give you a sticker this time but next week you need to do a better job listening. If you don't listen you won't get a sticker."

We too had a chat with him and told him that he'd have to sit out next week if history repeated itself. Afterwards he apologized to his teacher, and told her that he would listen from now on. You could tell from the look on his face that he really did feel remorseful.

I'm optimistic that with a good night's sleep the next class will be much better (or at least slightly better :-).

Stay tuned....

A word to the wise

Don't let little boys who are not quite toilet trained sit on the brand new furniture without a diaper. That's all I'm saying!

Bragged too soon

Potty training is almost back to square one again....Or at least it feels like it.

Right as I was feeling sorry myself about it, my new book arrived in the mail. It's called "The No-cry Potty Training Solution." There are a few ideas in it that we're going to try. For one, we are going to stop asking him if he wants to use the potty. Instead we'll say, "Let's go to the potty." We're also going to get really strict with potty times when he gets up, before we leave the house, when we get home, before bed. As I'm reading the book I'm realizing that part of the problem is our lack on consistency.

One of his big issues is doing poops on the toilet. From now on, even if he's doing them in his diaper, he is going to be sent into the bathroom to do his business. And the clean up will also take place in the bathroom.

There are also some helpful suggestion on handling issues about using toilets in public or at daycare. We'll try them all and see if anything works.

The author says that complete daytime potty training normally takes between 3 and 12 months from start to finish. So we're just going to have to look at this as a long-term project rather than something that can be accomplished in a few weeks.

On the upside, according to this book, 98% of kids are potty trained by the time they are 4 years old.

These are a few of my favourite things

- Mornings in the kitchen. While I'm making lunches, the little guy sits on the step of our kitchen footstool eating his cereal. He's such great company!

- Choosing earrings. I have an extensive collection of earrings crammed into a very small, messy jewelry box. The little guy thinks it is a treasure chest. Often I let him "carefully" rifle through it to choose a pair for me to wear. After much rifling and much commentary about what he's discovered in the box, he always chooses the same pair - they are long and ornate with green gemstones. I used to never wear those particular ones because I thought they were too fancy. But now I wear them all the time and I get tons of compliments!

- How he always manages to tumble into our bed in the middle of the night and snuggles in right next to me.

- The excitement on his face every single night when his candy cane light comes on (it's solar powered). He always runs to the window to check on it and then yells, "Mom look! The candy can light is on" as if it were the most exciting thing ever.

- Getting artwork. Lots and lots of artwork.

-My new nickname, "Mommy turtle."

- The rubber boots he gave me for Christmas so that we could play in the puddles together.

- When he says, "Oh yes, I think that's a wonderful idea" or "Thank you very much," or "Well....no." It's not the words per se, but the way he says them.

My little tumbler

Today was the little guy's first gymnastics class. We've never signed him up for a sporting activity before so we had no idea how it was going to go (he often has trouble adjusting to new environments).

At the beginning of class he was a little nervous and wouldn't even look at the teacher or the other kids. While the teacher started the class in some fun warm-up games and stretches, daddy and I had to stay on the floor and stretch too. At first, he would have none of it. He turned to me and said angrily, "This isn't gymnastics!!!" He was expecting it would be nothing but somersault all of the time.

The "pizza" stretch won him over. During this stretching exercise, the kids had their legs in a wide V and when a pizza topping was yelled out they had to madly slap their hands out on the floor in front as though they were making a pizza. Each kid got to choose a topping. The little guy was absolutely chomping at the bit to have a turn. "Mushrooms!" he yelled. From that moment on, all of his nervousness melted away.

Toddler gymnastics is designed to keep all of the toddlers busy and active all of the time. Instead of waiting patiently for a turn on the beam or the bars, the gym was set up in a circuit to keep everyone in constant motion. There were hoola hoops to jump through, tunnels to climb through, cylindrical obstacles to crawl across, structures to climb up and jump off off, balance beams to walk across, toddler sized bars to swing on...It was essentially toddler heaven. The little guy LOVED it!

There was just one problem....getting him to follow the circuit. Instead of jumping from hoop to hoop like the teacher taught him, he preferred picking them up and tossing them. Instead of crawling across the round foam gym mat, he continually tried to roll it across the room. Daddy and I stayed very busy throughout the entire gymnastics class trying to get him to stay on course or cleaning up his path of destruction. None of the other kids were perfect either, but the little guy definitely stood out for his ability to beat to his own drum. At one point I yelled out, "It's like trying to herd a cat!" But you know what? It was totally worth it because he had so much fun!

The other parents were howling with laughter watching his antics. He might not have been the model student, but he certainly made up for it in entertainment value!

Newsflash!

The little guy actually used the potty at daycare today! Just once. But hey, it's progress!

I'd love to write more but I'm too darn tired tonight.

Being shy is a curse

I should know. I've struggled with being shy since I was an infant. I was so shy in elementary school that I wouldn't speak to any of the teachers (or women in general, for that matter. I wasn't as shy around men.). They sent me to a resource teacher to find out if I knew how to read, write and do arithmetic. I wouldn't talk to her either. Acting on my mother's suggestion, they brought in a volunteer from the community to work with me -- an older lady who reminded me of my grandmother. Around her I wasn't shy at all. In fact, I talked her ear off so much that she couldn't believe that I was so timid around others.

In Grade 9 I made a conscience decision that I was not going to be shy anymore (or, at least that I was going to pretend not to be shy). I knew that I couldn't live my life that way or I'd never succeed. It was a good decision that has served me well. At times I've even convinced myself that I'm not that shy anymore. But the truth is that I struggle with it every single day. I work in communications and have to lead a lot of meetings, make cold calls, interview people etc... Doing these things goes against every grain in my body, but over time they've gotten a lot easier.

I put off returning things to a store because I feel too shy to explain why. At mix and mingle events I just want to crawl into the walls. The list goes on and on.

Baby boy is also shy. Not as shy as me, but enough that it causes issues. He often tells us he's "a little nervous" about going to nursery school. "It's too danger!" he says. When we really talk to him about it he admits that he's shy around the teachers. But it's not just at nursery school, but in all new environments and in virtually all of his interactions, including people he knows really well!. It takes him a good fifteen plus minutes to come out of his shell. Once he feels comfortable he's very outgoing and interactive, which I think is a good sign.

I really hope that he grows out of his shyness, if that's actually possible. If not I just hope he doesn't let it get the best of him.

Making small talk

Language development is so cool. The little guy now tries to initiate small talk by asking me questions. Yesterday he said, "Mom, do you like snowmen?" to which I replied, "I LOVE snowmen." There was a bit of a pause and then he asked, "Mom, do you like cookies?"

I've noticed him doing this with other children as well at the snack table.

He's also using the language skillfully to get what he likes. When his friend didn't want to share a coveted toy with him, he said to him, "But I have to go home soon. I need a turn because I have to leave in a minute." I thought this was a very clever tactic and it worked!

Happy New Year!

We rang in the New Year quietly this year with a meal of traditional chinese New Year lettuce wraps for dinner, followed by an evening out to see James Bond in the theatre. We were home at 11:00 p.m. and asleep well before midnight (are we losers or what?).

Amma flew home yesterday after a week-long visit. I miss her already! Not only did hubby and I go on three real dates (including to our favourite restaurant) while she was here, every time we came home the house had been tidied and the kitchen cleaned. She helped with the cooking and the shopping. And, after a particularly rough night with baby boy that included a full pajama and sheet change, she sent me up for a long afternoon nap while she kept the little guy entertained.

Whenever she comes to visit it reinforces how important it is to get out once in awhile. My New Year's resolution is to hire a babysitter every couple of weeks so that hubby and I can have a date night.

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A few highlights of our holidays thus far:
- On Christmas night we took turns making toasts. When someone asked the little guy what he would like to toast he said he wanted to toast "to all of the drinks." Who wouldn't drink to that!

-Since becoming parents we've started new Christmas traditions. The big one being that we do not travel at this busy time of year. The airports are too busy, the roads are too icy and the stress too great. For the second year in a row, Amma spent Christmas with us -- a new tradition that the little guy will come to cherish, I'm sure.

We now put up a tree each year, to his delight. And this year, for the first time, we introduced a stocking (which Santa filled with five or six small gifts). Under the tree there was one big gift from Santa - a giant garbage truck with all the bells and whistles (including recycling!). There were also a couple of smaller presents, mostly books and puzzles. And of course he received lots of toys from members of our extended family. Although I was really tempted to go overboard with toy buying this year, I am really glad I restrained myself. He loved everything he received and Christmas was just the right size.

- The little guy and daddy built the coolest rocket ship ever out of a wrapping paper tube (photo to come). It has fire coming out the end, racing stripes, and astronauts seated inside. He's played with that rocket ship more than any of him Christmas presents combined. Priceless!

As an aside:
When we asked him what he wanted to do the other day he said he wanted to see rockets. So we took him to the museum where they have a huge outer space travel display, including a little rocket ship you can climb and play in. He was in heaven!

- The underwear is slowly but surely replacing the diaper, although we have had our fair share of setbacks. Sometimes we can get him to do number 2 on the toilet but other times he is so overcome with anxiety that we have to give him a diaper. I'm not sure what the best strategy is, other than to keep up the positive reinforcement. I don't want to push him too hard because I know that can backfire leaving us at square one again. Any suggestions?????