A weight lifted

I hired a caregiver this morning and I feel like I can finally relax. For the last month or so I was an absolute wreck about going back to work. It's been a mixed bag of emotions -- guilt, sadness, fear for the worst, a sense of longing to stay home just a little bit longer. Three boxes of kleenex later (from many teary moments), I'm feeling much more optomistic. I realise now that it was the uncertaintly about who was going to care for our son that was making me so crazy. When I finally met the right person for the job, I started to feel much better. Part of me (but not all) is actually looking forward to going back to work.

Last week, when I was in crisis mode, I had a heart to heart with my mother-in-law about choosing a caregiver. She's been a daycare worker for many, many years and is able to provide a lot of good insight. There were two things that she said that helped me enormously with my final decision.

1. Go with your gut feeling. If you feel that something isn't quite right, there is a reason why you feel this way. This piece of advice helped me to eliminate one caregiver who, I should add, has a heart of gold. Knowing this, it was difficult for me to strike her off the list. But I couldn't shake this nagging feeling that she just wasn't right for the job. There was never any doubt that she would love our son and provide him with a nurturing environment, but her style of care was so different from ours. I just knew that the little things that bothered me now would evolve into big things. It would only be a matter of time before we would butt heads.

2. A caregiver should offer more than basic care. They should share the things they are passionate about with the children they care for. For example, my mother-in-law is an avid gardener. By teaching the kids how to plant and harvest vegetables, grow flowers etc...she enriches their experience at her daycare. She also loves learning about other cultures and traditions. So, the children take part in Christmas, Chanuka, Chinese New Year, and a whole host of other celebrations. They also learn about music, crafts, dance, cuisine etc...from around the world.

The caregiver I chose is also big into gardening, and she too gets the children involved in her garden. She also loves birds and takes the kids on birdwatching expeditions.

Based on her advice, I think I've made the right choice. My gut said "yes" the second I walked into this caregiver's home. And after speaking to the mom's of other kids in her care, I've been left with the impression that she's second only to mom!

Now that this huge weight has been lifted I can go back to enjoying what's left of my maternity leave.