Mother guilt

I ended up taking Wednesday off work because the little guy's condition took a turn for the worse. By this time the croup cough was gone, but in its place emerged a fever and dreadful chest cold. Frankly, I should have kept him home yesterday and today as well. His fever keeps coming and going, his appetite is off, and he's not quite himself.

I have a number of reasons why I didn't stay home yesterday or today, including:
1. I had a very important job interview yesterday that had already been postponed once.
2. It is so bloody busy at work I can barely keep up with the volume.
3. Taking three days off in a row would have almost depleted my family-related sick leave for the entire year (and the fiscal year only started on April 1!)
4. In the mornings, he's shown signs of improvement (i.e. actively playing) so I underestimated how bad his illness really was.
5. My caregiver never called, so I figured he was fine.

So why do I feel so crumby? These are all good reasons, aren't they? I'll tell you why I feel crumby: I put work before family and family should have come first. Had hubby been in town this week, we probably would have worked out some sort of schedule where we rotated being home with him. But unfortunately that just wasn't possible.

Anyways, all I really meant to say was that I'm sorry babe! You have my promise that it won't happen again.

Do you see the steam?

One of the ways we've taught baby boy to detect if his food is hot is to watch for steam drifting up from his plate. If he sees steam, he automatically says, "Blow on it, Mom."

Lately he's been very proactive in reporting steam sightings. "Look! There's steam!" he says.

Today when I was changing a very rank diaper, he said "Do you see the steam?" I can only guess he must have been referring to the diaper....

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While visiting my parents home last week, baby boy said "I want a tour." So I guided him around from room to room to give him the lay of the land. After he'd seen it all, he went up to his Grandma and asked "Where's the tour, Grandma?"

The aftermath

I have never crammed so much activity into four days in my life! It seems like every time we visit our hometown, there are just too many things to do and people to see. People kept asking me today how my "holiday" was. Holiday? You've got to be kidding! We were constantly flitting from one grandparents to the next while also trying to squeeze in time for other friends and family. I'm feeling more exhausted than before we left.

It would be nice if just once (that's all I ask!) we could come to town and just chill out and do things on our own schedule. I guess I can always dream....

The little guy had a blast, but I think the visit took a rounds out of him. In fact, not two hours after we got home, at around 3:30 a.m., he started coughing on and off. He didn't have a fever or anything. Just a horrible, barking cough. And all day today his voice was hoarse even though his throat wasn't sore. But besides that, he was acting perfectly normal and carrying on with his regular shinanigans.

So after some discussion, we sent him to daycare as usual. All day I was expecting our caregiver to call and tell me come pick him, but the phone never rang. When I picked him up my she told me that she was fairly certain he had the croup and gave me some words of advice on how to treat it if the cough worsened. And then the weirdest thing happened -- we went outside and his cough just disappeared. Poof! Gone! I guess it was the humid air. I'm just crossing my fingers that the cough doesn't come back. I did a ton of research on the croup and it scared the heck out of me. Some kids end of going to the emergency centre because they turn blue and can't breath. More often than not, however, no medical intervention is needed. A little cool, moist air often does the trick.

Little Mr. Bossy

Two year olds can be so bossy sometimes.

The other day, hubby was cooking bacon. When he momentarily turned his attention, the little guy pushed on his leg and yelled, "You! Cook the bacon!"

And, when hubby tried to rustle him out of bed the other morning, he rolled over grouchily and said, "Go on your own bed!"

Little masterpieces

Today, I opened up baby boy's knapsack and found a cut out of a fireman's hat that he had glued stuff onto, and a picture of a person with glued on hair and hands and feet. Although he obviously has some help (i.e. the cutting part), you can tell he's definitely put some time and effort into these creations.

Hubby and I both love it when he brings home artwork. We fight over who gets to take the latest masterpiece to the office (we've run out of display surfaces at home). Friends and colleagues tell me that eventually you have to throw some of the artwork out -- there simply isn't room to keep it all as they get older and more productive. The thought of chucking any of his artwork out makes me sad! Maybe I'll have to start a memory box to store some of my favourites.

I'm real!

"I'm real! I'm little! I have blond hair! I'm big!" That's how baby boy described himself to me today.

A few chuckles

At 2:15 am baby boy started calling to me.

"Mom? Mom?"

"What is it baby?"

"I want sunglasses, Mom."

"It's sleeping time right now. We can get the sunglasses in the morning."

Silence. Right as I start drifting back to sleep.

"Mom?"

"Mom's sleeping sweetheart. What is it?"

"I need sunglasses."

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I must use my index finger a lot when I'm talking to the little guy because any time he wants to make a point, he points that finger right near my face.

One morning he held up his index finger and said to me very seriously, "Monday morning." I asked him what was happening on Monday morning. With his finger in the air he repeated, "Monday morning." Where the heck did that come from?

Another time, he waved his index finger at me and told me very matter of factly, "The horses are in the barn."

"Oh, okay" I replied.

Not knowing if I truly understood the importance of his words, he pointed his finger very closely to my eye and said, "Two horses."

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When not in use, we have to keep the toaster oven unplugged. Baby boy's latest obsession is to shove crackers inside of it in a pretend game of making toast. Last night I was cooking some vegetables in the toaster oven. Knowing his magnetic attraction to the appliance, I warned him not to go near it because it was hot. As soon our backs were turned for two seconds, he quietly climbed up the kitchen stool and opened the toaster oven's door. My mommy alarm immediately went off. I ran over and discovered something new cooking. Two tea lights!

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He had a sit down bath for the first time in over a year! Even though he's been keen on baths lately, he'll only take them standing up or, if he's really brave, sitting on his knees. Tonight he bravely sat down on his tush. And boy was he ever delighted with himself! "Mom, look! I'm sitting!" he cried. Of course I carried on and made a really big deal about it.

Next step: getting him to sit down on a potty.

Spring has sprung

Or almost, anyway. There is still a lot of snow, but it's melting rapidly. When we got home today, baby boy and I spent a long time outside throwing snowballs into puddles, and just splashing around. These are activities that I still have an appreciation for, even as an adult. But I have to say that my favourite thing to do at this time of year is to break the thin crusts of ice that form over the puddles at night. Every morning I delight in plunging my boots through the ice to expose the puddly goodness below.

I can't wait for the snow to melt at the park. The snow is still a couple of feet or more deep. Heck, if the weather is warm enough, I say we go anyways and throw some snow around. It beat being cooped up inside.

Trials and tribulations of toothbrushing

There is one mom job that I hate with a passion - brushing baby boy's teeth. Every night (or every second night because hubby and I take turns) it is a horrible struggle to even get him to open his mouth. He struggles and kicks. He whines and cries. He runs away. Those blissful nights when he cooperates nicely are far and few between. Sometimes I feel like throwing in the toothbrush. Throwing it right into his unused potty (did I mention potty training sucks too?).

Does anyone out there have any new tricks I could try? I've already tried the following:
- singing (with limited success)
- hanging him upside down
- acting silly and getting him to laugh
- yelling (which is dumb and I always feel bad about later)
- bribing
- using positive reinforcement
- buying tons of super cool toothbrushes to choose from

The whale, the shark and the dolphin

They sleep in his bed, they bathe with him, they join him at the dinner table. The whale, the shark and the dolphin are members of our family in baby boy's eyes. He offers them bites of food, and sips of milk. They are adorned with kisses and snuggles. They are given daily bubble baths. If I so much as touch them, he yells "NO!!!! Don't moving them, Mom!"

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My cousin in Texas has an outdoor fireplace. When we were hanging out in his backyard last month, baby boy had great fun opening its cover and filling it with pebbles. When questioned what he was doing, he replied "I'm fixing the fireplace."

At home, he's equally as consumed with fireplace repair. One day we caught him sneaking off with an over rack. He placed it on the coffee table and covered it in crumbled up paper and building blocks. Afterwards, he proclaimed "I fixed the fireplace!"

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I love his creative imagination. When we are out in public he is able to turn any object into a toy. At IKEA, he played for over half and hour in one of the kitchen modules. He made rows and rows of pancakes out of hotplates. He pretended that cabinet drawers and shelves were oven racks.

At the coffee shop, he found a metal newspaper stand. Immediately he transformed into a barbecue. He came over and served everyone imaginary "beef."

Bubbles in the sink or bathtub are used to make igloos out of.

His blocks and little dog house are regularly transformed into parking garages. A roll of masking tape around his ankle becomes a pair of skates. His toy vegetable basket works just as well as a hockey helmet. Our coasters are always missing in action and often found sitting inside one of his toy pots and pans.

The crawlspace next to the couch is his cave. "I'm going in the cave mom" he tells me, ducking down out of site.


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I asked the little guy if he would like to put his marine animals in the sink, as I pointed to his whale, shark and dolphin. Confused, he replied, "The whale's not green, Mom. He's black."

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"I want to wash a sink." Translation: I want to play in the sink. This has become our new routine. While we're cooking dinner, baby boy plays in the sink. Yesterday I caught him slathering dish soap all over his tummy. "I put cream on," he said.

Going, going, gone?

Here today, gone tomorrow.

I feel like I'm constantly mourning the loss of my baby because he's growing up so fast.

Each time I retire a piece of clothing or a baby toy, I'm overtaken by a mournful twinge. I let out a little sigh. Remind myself that he can't stay a baby forever.

My milk is drying up. When he asks to nurse, I wonder "Is this the last time." Part of me looks forward to this day, but part of me is sad that this special mother-baby bond is coming to an end.

When he sleeps, he doesn't look like a baby anymore. When I hold him in my lap, his long legs dangle down. The towel we used to "burrito" him has been put away because it is too small to wrap him in.

His independence is taking hold. He wants to pull on his boots by himself, wants to brush his teeth without parental interference, wants to be entrusted to carry his glass from the kitchen to the dining room table.

Today, I pulled a pie out of the over and he said "Look, it's beautiful!" A baby wouldn't say that. Yesterday, when Grandma was getting set to leave for the airport, baby boy pretended he was going too. He said, "I have baggage. I'm going to take my luggage to the airport." When did he go from saying suitcase, to baggage and luggage?

Baby Boy vs The Easter Bunny

It's almost Easter so I thought I'd take the opportunity to write about some similarities I've noted between Baby Boy and the Easter bunny.

1. The Easter bunny's diet is largely composed of vegetables, fruit and pellets. Baby Boy's diet consists mostly of vegetables, fruit and shreddies which are essecially the human form of pellets.

2. The Easter bunny is very interested in eggs. So is baby boy. He loves eating them, helping to cook them, talking about them, peeling them, playing with the cartons etc...If I hid hardboiled eggs around the house next weekend he'd probably think he was in heaven!

3. The Easter bunny likes to hide things. Again, so does baby boy (my keys and phone for example).

4. The Easter bunny is cute and cuddly just like Baby Boy.

6. Hopping is the Easter bunny's preferred method of getting around. Same with Baby Boy. What a coincidence!

5. The Easter bunny leaves little droppings here and there. This morning I found a little puddle in our bed. Where did that come from? Must have been the Easter bunny, I guess :-)

Happy almost Easter everybody!

People suck

A couple of posts ago I commented on the snow situation, and how awful it would be to be a parent without a car. Well, things haven't improved much and the city still hasn't plowed the sidewalks. So you can imagine how pleased I was when I came home after work to discover that hubby had taken the car.

I can now tell you firsthand what it was like to be a parent without a car coping with record amounts of snow. It sucks!

I was forced to walk on the narrow roads, veering off into snow piles every five feet or so to wait for cars to pass (only slightly exaggerating here). I had three (yes three) people honk at me and give me the stink eye. One guy purposely splashed us, and a pedestrian reamed me out for pushing a stroller on the road. This was pretty funny considering that he was also walking on the road.

You know what I have to say to all of those nasty people? You suck! I have some other words I'd like to say but this is a clean, family-oriented blog so I'm not going to go there.


I feel much better now that I got that off my chest.

Yellow teetee

Yellow teetee (blankie) goes everywhere with baby boy. It gets dragged in and out of the house, in and out of the car, on and off the table. If there was a first class seat for blankies, yellow teetee would be riding in it.

We do have some other, lesser teetees. These are usually only used in emergencies (i.e. yellow teetee is in the wash), or at the same time as yellow teetee. Baby boy's philosophy when it comes to fuzzy blankets is the more the merrier.

A couple of months ago, one of my friends called me from Toys r' Us to say that she found yellow teetee. She asked if we'd like her to pick up a backup. "Yes!" I said. I've always secretly worried about what would happen if yellow teetee got lost or damaged beyond repair. A second one, I thought, we be just as much of a security blanket for me as it was for him.

Baby boy's eyes lit up when we unveiled "new yellow teetee". He was delighted until he realized it didn't quite smell or feel like his other blanket. So, I threw it in the wash a few times in a row. Dragged it around the house. Rolled it in the dirt. Sent it off to daycare. But it will never hold the same status as his original yellow teetee.

If anything, adding a second yellow teetee to the mix has complicated matters. When I hand him the newer model he says, "No, I want old yellow teetee." If I give him the old one, he demands the presence of the new one as well. He's also become ultra protective of his old friend -- like he's afraid we're trying to replace it.

Old yellow teetee is sitting in the car right now. I forgot to bring it in earlier, and somehow this escaped baby boy's notice. Or at least until bedtime. He wailed and cried from the room "I want the other yellow teetee." Call me a monster if you like, but there is no way I'm putting on my boots and heading down to the garage to fetch it. He has three other teetees with him in the bed keeping him company.

So a word to the wise. New doesn't necessarily mean improved.

Snow day!

This morning our snow what as high as the fence in our backyard. 51 cm of the white stuff fell within the last 36 hours, right as the city was just finishing the clearing from our last storm. This winter has been just on snowstorm after the next. Will it ever be spring?

There is literally nowhere to put the snow. If it snows again, I don't know people are going to do.

I know that the city has been doing the best it can to clear the snow. Even so, I can't help be more than a little frustrated these days. Normally, I pick up baby boy in the chariot stroller, rain (snow) or shine. But for the past month or so this has been impossible. There are huge snowbanks at every corner. Or, these days, the sidewalks haven't been cleared at all meaning that we'd have to walk on the road. Walking on the road just isn't an option. There is barely enough room for one car to drive down most streets because of the masses of snow. Thank goodness we have a car. I honestly don't know how families without cars are coping right now. They must all be pulling toboggans down the middle of the street.

And what about older people and persons with disabilities? I can only imagine that they are captives in their own homes right now.

When it isn't snowing (and it's mostly always snowing), we get freezing rain. I can tell you that there is nothing like walking to work on a skating rink!

Will it ever end? If spring doesn't come soon I think I'm going to go insane.

Shaping up

On Wednesday I had another session with my personal trainer. He set up a workout plan for me which is either going to kill me, or get me in kick ass shape. As he was going through my workout plan for the next nine weeks, he made me try out all of the exercises to make sure I had the proper form etc. I felt like I was at boot camp.

At one point he told me to drop and give him ten push-ups. Real push-ups not the lady kind. If my nose didn't completely touch the floor, he told me it didn't count and made me do it over again. Oh the pain!!! And the sit-ups were even worse. They had to be full sit-ups, not those little crunches that I usually do. My abs are stiff beyond belief. And so our my arms and shoulders from all of the weightlifting he made me do.

I have three workouts that I have to follow per week. They are circuits that I have to do three times in a row as quickly as I can with no breaks in between exercises. Today, I completely workout 1 on my own. It's only supposed to take 20 minutes. It took me close to 25. And I cheated. Instead of doing 15 reps of some of the weight exercises, I only did 10. Frankly I couldn't handle more than that. Even with my corner cutting, I barely had the energy to walk out of the gym.

And did I mention that these workouts are only to supplement my runs? Yes, in addition to going through hell 3 times a week, I'm going to have to go out running. The trainer told me if I followed his plan, I'd cruise through my 10-km race with no problems.

On Wednesday we also talked about nutrition. I had to log everything I ate for a week and he reviewed it. Overall he was pleased with my eating habits, although he wanted me to add more veggies to my dinnertime menu and cut back on the bread and grains. The veggie part surprised me because I already eat lots and lots of fruits and vegetables every day. My favourite quote from the session was, "Don't think about it as feeding your body, but rather as fueling the machine."

Right now I'm fueling up on gin and 7-up. It's helping to sooth my sore muscles.

One day down, about a million more to go. Good lord what have I gotten myself into?

Baths are back in style!

After a year of crying and screaming at the very mention of baths, baby boy has decided he likes them after all. So much so, in fact, that he is having his third bath in a row this week! He didn't even mind it when I washed his hair the other night. In fact, he grabbed a bucket (the orange one, always the orange one) and helped to pour the water on his own head. I'm crossing my fingers that this is a permanent change of heart.

Don't catching me!

If I so much as move in his direction, baby boy now says, "Don't catching me, mom!"

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He eats all fruits and vegetables as though they are orange wedges, carefully avoiding any skin. Even if I peel the skin off of an apple wedge, he still won't eat down to the bottom.

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His favourite vegetable right now is "cubabare" (cucumber).

I've just added kiwi to the menu, now that his not so pleasant allergic reactions to fruit have subsided. He gobbled down his first kiwi and then proclaimed enthusiatically, "I love it, mom!"

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Blowing out candles is not just for birthdays anymore. At my cousin's wedding, baby boy blew out the candles on every single table. And, once they were re-lit, he went around and blew them all out again. At restaurants, he doesn't understand why we ask him to leave the candles on.

I had this great idea that we could use blowing out candles as a reward for good behaviour. To some extend it has worked, but not with potty training. Surprise, surprise. Back to the drawing board on that one!

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Top 10 things that are hip and cool to a 2-year old:

10. Pockets. Baby boy has taken to shoving coins and credit cards into his pockets. Very cute but rather annoying on laundry day.

9. Going to school. He drags a knapsack around the house and says, "I going to school now mom." He hasn't got the foggiest idea what school is, but he sure knows that it's where he'd like to go.

8. Wearing sunglasses (now he's on to something!)

7. Sticking out tongue and spitting (not so cool to use older folks)

6. Wearing clothes with pictures of animals or vehicles on them (in his opinion, it is better to wear no clothes at all than to wear something plain)

5. Hiking up socks to the knees (we might have to have a talk about that one!)

4. People who operate cars, heavy machinery, emergency vehicles and power tools. I should add that he thinks I'm cool when I operate the vacuum or the washing machine.

3. The entire cast of Hi-5, Thomas the Tank Engine and Whinnie the Pooh.

2. Anything that the other kids are playing with at this moment.

1. Drawing with a real pen, rather than crayons or markers. Evidently, crayons and markers are for babies and not big kids like him.

I take it back

Can I take back all of those words I said the other day about baby boy and the terrible 2s? Tonight my angel came back to me. We had such a nice evening together, just the two of us. We played games, read books, and lounged on the couch together talking about interesting toddler stuff like flying airplanes. He asked me what black cats say. I said "meow". He asked me what orange cats say. I said "meow". And then he asked me what blue and green cats say and I said, "I don't know. I've never met a blue or green cat before."

As he nestled next to me on the couch, I held his little chubby little hand and admired how dimply they still were. I sniffed his head and took in that lovely baby smell that he still emits. I gently stroked his hair and ran my fingers over his face like he was a newborn baby again.

These are the moments that every mother lives for.

The terrible 2s set in

It's going to be a long ride.

When baby boy turned 2 I thought he was impervious to the terrible twos. "Not our baby boy," I told people. "He's so good natured and easy going."

Sure he's had his moments. But on the whole he's always had a positive, carefree nature.

Well, something changed when we were on vacation last week. All of a sudden he's become bossy, demanding, whiney, and negative. When we're in public he runs away and hides. When we stop him, he screams and freaks out, creating embarrassing scenes. I'm pretty sure that if we bumped into Super Nanny she'd follow us home with a camera crew.

Normally he is a near perfect angel at restaurants. People from other tables often compliment us on how well behaved he is. Last night that changed. Our meal out was a disaster. He whined and yelled, bossed and demanded. We ate quickly and got out in record time. Not only did he ruin our meals, I'm quite sure he ruined a few others. I'm crossing my fingers that this was only an isolated incident.

At the airport last week he poured water all over my computer's keyboard (didn't work for a day afterwards). Yesterday he smacked it with a hockey stick.

And the spitting. Oh how I hate the spitting! He had just got over the sticking out his tongue, spit phase and now it's back again. When we were on vacation, one too many people in Texas thought it was cute the first time he did it. He's now convinced that he's Mr. Funnyman. I'm not sure how many weeks (and eyeglass cleanings) it's going to take to rid him of that habit again...

What happened to my gentle sweetheart? Is it something we did in Texas (i.e. letting him stay up late and eat fries?) Is it something he's going to snap out of soon, or is this just the inevitable stage everyone has been warning me about?